Story of My Life
by Nox Pluvia
Summary: Why is life full of pain? What have I done to deserve this? I’ve been good; at least, I think I have. I know I’m not the bravest person in the world, or the smartest. But I don’t think that means that I deserve this!


Author's Note: Hmm, haven't written a thing in years, and then this comes out while I was waiting for the new episode of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood to download. Is it good? Nope. Does it make sense? Not at all. Do I care? Not especially. Might as well publish it though, for bored people to read. What's the worst thing that can happen? I'll get bad reviews, oh no! The horror. Trust me, I know that this strange monologue type thing is no good, and probably horribly out of character. But so are most of the stories on FanFiction these days. Meh, I'm done talking now. No one really reads these things anyway.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Obviously. These disclaimer things are stupid.

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Why is life full of pain? What have I done to deserve this? I've been good; at least, I think I have. I know I'm not the bravest person in the world, or the smartest. But I don't think that means that I deserve this! Hmm, you're a wimpy, whiney baby. We're going to turn your brother into an evil, sadistic freak show. And you're aniki, yeah, he's going to ditch you for his blue-haired, foreign clone. How does that make sense?

They say that good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people. With all the things that have happened to me lately, does that mean I've been a bad person? I'm no saint or anything, but I'm a pretty nice guy. Well . . . I do fight with Kenzan-kun a lot . . . but he started it! Trying to take my aniki from me . . . of course, now all of those fights were a waste of time. Johan came out of nowhere and became the only friend important to aniki.

I can't compete with Johan. He's too . . . perfect. He's a great duelist. Confident. And he can see those duel spirits that aniki is always talking about. I guess I can't blame aniki for ditching me. Compared to Johan, I'm just a . . . a sidekick. Or, even worse. A mascot. It's not like I'm close with any of the others either.

Asuka-chan is nice to me and everything, but we're not really close or anything. I don't feel comfortable having a conversation with just her, and I doubt she'd want to do that anyway. Manjoume-kun . . . well . . . he's Manjoume-kun. Not exactly someone who'd enjoy my company. Or anybody's company really. Except for maybe Asuka-chan's. Um . . . Kenzan-kun is my rival, so I can't go to him for friendship. That would make me look like a giant loser. Which I guess I already am.

Maybe I could try dueling more or something. I don't duel much, at least not compared to the others. The last duel I was in was against my brother, and I lost that one. I try to be brave, and I fail. I pretended that it didn't really bother me. That I lost. I'm good at that. Pretending. I just don't want people to worry too much about me. Or, maybe it's that I don't want to see them not worry about me. This way, they don't know that they have a reason to worry. Does that make sense? I guess it doesn't matter if it does or not at this point.

Who cares? I can think about this crap all day, and it's never going to change. Sure, I could confront everybody about it. Or I could take the emo approach and try to kill myself. But, I don't know, I guess it just doesn't seem worth it. I've thought about it. A lot. Jumping off a cliff. Screaming my head off at my friends. But would that really make anything better? I don't know what happens after death. So killing myself probably isn't the best plan. And as for yelling at everybody, it could go two ways. They could become overcome with guilt and try to spend as much time with me as they can. Which would be kind of annoying. Or, they could decide that I'm a selfish brat and never talk to me again. I think that the way things are right now is better than both of those. Which isn't saying much, I guess . . .

This thinking thing really isn't getting me anywhere. I was hoping for a . . . what's the word . . . ? Epiphany? Close enough. Yes, I was hoping that if I kept on thinking, I'd have one of those. Apparently that doesn't work as well as it does on TV. This was a waste of time. I guess I'll just . . . um . . . go to the Osiris dorm. And pretend some more. Story of my life.

-丸藤翔 (Marufuji Shō)


End file.
